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psychopath, malignant narcissist, paranoid pathological liar? Have you been
abandoned or slandered? Are you suffering from Narcissistic Victim Syndrome?
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SEX WITH A
MALIGNANT NARCISSIST / SEXUAL DEVIANT
(Victim) At first everything was comfortable, and even though Jon does not know his way around a woman's body, it was alright because it was comfortable and safe, I even thought that I may eventually show him a few fun things. We shared a mutual passion for each other and it was very nice (or so I thought). We would go out to dinner with small groups of friends, and sometimes Jon would wink at me from across the table.
Now I realize, and am learning that this was all a big act. I am still a bit foggy as to how a person can spend an entire lifetime manipulating others and being so cruel.
He refused to wear a condom from day one, and I was disturbed by this. I discussed my concerns with him and he assured me that he was disease-free, and he also explained that he was celibate (apparently this is a common statement among narcissists).
He made me feel comfortable, safe and assured me that I could trust him. Our very first time, I asked him to pull-out ( i don't take birth control) and he just laughed and asked why, I told him my concerns and he did not pull out.
From that day forward I tracked my periods, ovulation and I was very careful never to allow him access to me within 6 days of my ovulation. Someone had to be responsible and that person was me.
About 6 months into our relationship, he began to exhibit what I considered to be borderline split personality. As time progressed he became more and more aggressive and violent. Just before the traditional and common "Narcissist Silent Treatment & common abandonment" I was convinced that he was going through a mid-life crisis!
(BOY oh BOY WAS I ON THE WRONG TRAIN TRACK)
Does it ring a bell?
1. Sex is ALWAYS about pleasing your Narcissistic partner
2. Does anything he/she wants to do
3. Spankings (hard, leaving marks)
4. Refuses to wear a condom (because he is giving you the gift of his essence)
5. Forces your face down (while holding your head on his/her genitals until you gag)
6. Slaps your face with his penis
7. Pushes you face down into the mattress (until you have difficulty breathing)
8. Wraps his/her arm around your throat while laying on top of your back and choking you
9. Pulls your hair
10. Pins you down and is so rough that you bleed
11. Demand you beg for him/her
12. Demand you thank him/her for giving you his/her essence
13. When you express that he/she is hurting you, your Narc- partner pinches you (thighs, legs, buttock, nipples)
14. When you ask him/her to stop or get off, or you try to push, he/she pins your arms behind your back
15. When he/she is hurting you, and you tighten up, move or try to get comfortable, he/she will tell you to stop moving and they become more aggressive.
**Holds your face down and spreads your legs open while saying things like
"Do you want to show it off?"
"are you going to be a good little boy/girl?"
"Are you a slut?"
16. Says things like
"that's how I like it."
"be a good little boy/girl".
17. When you are in pain and yelling out for him/her to stop, he/she places their hand over your mouth, pull your hair (and if you mention cutting your hair, she/he throws a scary narcissistic temper tantrum)
18. Calls you his/her slave
19.Selfish sex performer (they do not make love, they are not capable)
20. The more pain or discomfort you are in, the more aroused he/she becomes
21. When he/she wants sex 3 or more times in one day, you become swollen, have difficulty walking, and even bleed. When you complain about the pain or the discomfort afterward, he/she will say something like
"that's normal"
"that's how i like it"
"that's how it is"
"your not in pain"
"you like it".
22. Demands you kiss his/her ankles
23. Shoves his/her thumb in your mouth and demand you suck on it while he/she gets-off ( Sometimes you really want to bite it, but you are too scared).
The Pedophile Narcissist
(Victim) The first time he was very aggressive with me, I was shaking, trembling and actually scared of him. I was in so much pain, and I could not catch my breath. I did not want him to touch me at all, and then he leans over to me and asks, "do you want some water"? "What's the matter with you"? "Don't act like that"?.
Over the course of the next few days, he would be attentive and appear caring. Now I know that this too was an act to gain back my trust. AND IT WORKED! (this is part of the narcissists abusive brain washing technique).
I questioned his methods, I tried to open a dialogue about more sensual or loving sexual methods and he did not want to hear it. He would shut down. Jon did not want me discussing any of our personal matters with my friends, or even his sister-in-law (a good friend). He would ask me "Did you talk to her?' and say "she does not know anything, my brother does not even sleep with her" and "that's why my brothers ex-girlfriends liked me more, because I know what I'm doing".
1 out of 20 have destructive, sociopathic tendencies
(1/1)
Gabben:
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Statistics tell us that approximately 1 out of 20 people we interact with have, on some level that is destructive, sociopathic tendencies. I’m sure you’ve heard that serial killers are sociopaths, and that is true to the extreme. Naturally, there are different levels of dysfunction, just as there are different levels of, say, depression.
The predators I speak of are "Sociopath-Lite," for lack of a better term. These people have a seared conscience and they view other people as objects to manipulate to get what they want. Most of them are narcissists, and will use you to fulfill what is called, “narcissistic supply.”
Narcissistic Supply is the term for what these people are addicted to. It is not alcohol or drugs, or even sex perse. They need your adoration, admiration, attention and time and the appetite for this supply is insatiable as they are basically emotional black holes, sucking your love and energy into themselves to try to satisfy the emptiness inside their souls. They truly are the walking dead.
This emptiness is so profound and permanent they are rarely helped by any kind of therapy, because they are so used to acting rather than actually being who they really are. They refuse to lower their guard and let others know their real personalities.
This emotional deformity is usually the result of profound abuse, emotional trauma or neglect from a primary caretaker, even as early as infancy. They learned early on to mimic the kind of person the caretakers seemed to want in order to survive. In the process, they discard and despise their true selves and manufacture a false self that they present to the world.
Sad? Yes, absolutely. However, these folks are usually so full of rage that they quickly learn how to channel and use the anger in a meaningful way; the ability to expertly manipulate and ultimately emotionally injure others which makes them feel superior and powerful. This way, they feel they're in control and cannot be hurt again. They turn into an abuser.
A narcissist with sociopathic tendencies is a very dangerous person indeed; the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing. They are constantly on the prowl for new sources of “supply” and can sense a potential victim almost immediately, even the first time they meet the person.
Let’s pause for a moment to examine the perfect victim of these monsters. Most people grow up in relatively normal homes where love, affection and truth were modeled. These future victims were taught to be courteous, trusting and compassionate and in the normal course of their lives, have personally encountered nothing untoward that would change their view of the world and the strangers they meet. They’ve heard of evil people on the news and have seen them depicted in movies but have never actually crossed paths with one. In other words, they’re sitting ducks.
These victims are not stupid or thickheaded. They should be able to basically trust in the goodness of others. They practice the golden rule and simply assume others do the same. They are naïve but once they encounter and comprehend the evil that truly exists “out there,” their lives are forever altered and their innocence shattered.
When the narcissist/sociopath targets a victim, they immediately begin to idealize and overvalue this new source of “supply.” They are gifted actors, having presented their false self for so many years, and are able to expertly simulate emotions as they “bond” with the victim. They are attracted, curious and deeply interested in the source and begin a process of courting or grooming the victim. They are incredibly charming and present themselves to be a deep, passionate person capable of loving or of being hurt. They appear to be empathetic and caring but all of these signs are the sheep’s clothing of the narcissist.
Naturally, the victim falls head over heels in love with the mirage or false self the narcissist projects and they completely buy into the lies they are told.
The narcissist’s seemingly genuine immersion and exaggerated high regard for the source is extremely alluring to the victim. It makes them feel safe, loved and admired. The narcissist showers them with attention and they are so convincing they’re all but impossible to resist when they are on the prowl for a source of supply.
However, and this is what you must understand, once the victim is completely hooked and emotionally enmeshed, the narcissist begins to deplete them of their “supply” like a vampire drinks the blood of his victim. This begins to manifest itself by the narcissist toying and playing head games with the source.
They'll deny saying certain things the victim knows for certain they said; they woo seductively and then turn cold and angry causing the source to come running to apologize for some supposed transgression. They are covertly condescending to the source while continuing to rely on their advice. They play with the source like a deep-sea fisherman reels in a sailfish and then lets the line go slack, back and forth until the fish exhausts itself.
When the narcissist senses the source’s supply is threatened or nearly depleted, he instantaneously and abruptly loses all interest in the victim. To them, the victim no longer exists and is thrown away like a piece of trash.
Of course, to be idealized one minute and totally devalued the next is utterly incomprehensible to the victim. Normal people do not treat others this way. It is a mind bending experience that leaves the victim questioning their self worth, judgment and sanity not to mention having to grapple with the extreme grief of suddenly losing what seemed to be a perfect relationship.
There is a term for what a narcissist/sociopath does to his victims. It is called emotional rape. It's the systematic and deliberate abuse of a person’s higher emotions without their consent. The victim fully trusts the alluring false self that is presented to them and is made to feel emotions and bonding for the express purpose of being used and discarded. When they give the narcissist the privilege of looking into their soul they never dreamed that intimacy would be abused.
The narcissist feels no true emotions. They are incapable. The “love” they feel for the source disappears immediately when the victim’s usefulness runs its course or when a seemingly better qualified source of supply is noticed. They are able to go their merry way without the encumbrance of guilt or remorse.
Being a tender human being, the victim usually grieves and misses the relationship for quite some time. The loss is devastating and they can get very depressed, blame themselves, obsess about contacting the narcissist, feel like they’re going crazy, and experience many other emotional manifestations that physical rape victims endure. The emotional roller coaster is so horrific that some victims even display symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome.
The narcissist/sociopath exploits and then completely rejects his victims. The most bizarre aspect of this “person” is there little to no malice involved. She views people as things to be used. The same way you and I feel neither hate nor love for a garden hose, he feels the same about other people. Absolutely nothing.
Beware!
Voicelessness.com
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Psychopath Free
WARNING: Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is not to be confused with a broken heart.
Narcissist, Sociopathic, Paranoid and Psychopathic traits are considered serious personality disorders and mental illnesses that must be properly diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional. They are not words to throw about or maliciously accuse someone of being. Sometimes you might be angry or someone you know is just an asshole.
WARNING: Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is not to be confused with a broken heart.
Narcissist, Sociopathic, Paranoid and Psychopathic traits are considered serious personality disorders and mental illnesses that must be properly diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional. They are not words to throw about or maliciously accuse someone of being. Sometimes you might be angry or someone you know is just an asshole.
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